สัปดนวันละนิด จิตแจ่มใส

 

What is a KISS?   It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to  further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION. =================================== What men do after sex? 2% eat; 3% smoke cigarettes; 4% take a shower; 5% go to sleep and 86% get up and go back home to their wives.  =================================== Why is the penis better than a credit card?  (a)   Once spent it recharges itself. (b)   It is accepted worldwide.  (c)   You can let your wife use it as much as she wants. =================================== LITTLE GIRL :     Mommy, I just found out that our                       neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut! MUM :               You mean it's small? LITTLE GIRL:      No it's salty!!!  =================================== A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.  =================================== A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies? MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS. =================================== Women top 5 lies:  from the whitest down  .   4.   It is so big. 3.   I can't do that to my best friend.  2.   I won't gain weight after marriage  1.   I am coming! I am coming!!! =================================== A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic.  She says: What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.  =================================== What is the closest thing to a woman's period?  Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F*CKED!!! =================================== Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?   A Kid replied : The legs....because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".  =================================== Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?  Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend  say,  "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY". =================================== What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?  Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down thePANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.. =================================== AGES OF VAGINA : 16 TO 19     BRAND NEW. 20 TO 28     SLIGHTLY USED  29 TO 36     SECOND HAND  37 TO 45     SUBJECT TO REPAIR  46 TO 55     FOR LUBRICATION  56 TO 60     TOTAL WRECK  61 TO 70     CLOSED FOR  RENOVATION!!!!!!! =================================== MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T".  And if he touches your pussy say STOP! GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him  DO N'T STOP!!!!" =================================== GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES  9 INCHES -      Oh Shit, pain!! 7 INCHES -      Oh, I'm in heaven  6 INCHES -      OH PERFECT  5 INCHES -      UMMMM OK  4 INCHES -      PUSH MORE  3 INCHES -      IS THAT IN???  2 INCHES -      IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

 

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